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Nob's Log!

Battles with the Dark Lands

Wednesday 24th, 2013

There has been a lot of battling around these parts recently!

I'd say the Emperor of the Dark Lands is mostly to blame for this. First he attacked Convergence Point, and we were barely able to repel him, due to the low amount of defenders. Most of the townspeople were fully drunk at the time, because the saloon's whiskey shipment had arrived shortly before. There were only ten people able to defend the town.

Luckily, those few were enough. Those war machines sure were tough! Only Dr. Garlic's plasma pistols were able to penetrate their thick armor directly. They were also equipped with ray cannons and rail guns, and they carried many undead warriors inside.

We were eventually able to drive them back, and they never got farther than the center of town anyway. Unfortunately, sometime during the next week, some of the Emperor's minions managed to steal the Destiny Machine. I didn't really understand what it does, but without it, nobody would be able to leave the vicinity of Convergence Point!

There was nothing else to do but counter-attack and try to steal it back. We rode off to the Emperor's dark fortress, and killed all the guards at the gate. They sent a few war machines at us, but Invinciman took care of them for us.

We went in inside and fought off any minion foolish enough to challenge us. The fortress was huge and it took us like an hour to reach the throne room. It was at the top of the tallest tower.

When we reached the doors of the throne room, I looked out a window and immediately wished I hadn't. The height was dizzying. Fortunately, I managed to convince everyone I needed to catch my breath after running up all those stairs, so I was able to regain my composure. Then we entered.

The first people in killed the nearby guards in about 3.67829 seconds. The Emperor was furious. "Halt! Stop killing my guards! You pitiful peasants are no match for me."

Dr. Garlic ran at the Emperor with his spear, trying to run him through. If it had been a movie, heroic and climatic music would have been playing as Typhon ran in slow-motion towards the Emperor, leapt into the air, and speared the Emperor's heart out. But it wasn't. Dr. Garlic was struck with a burst of lightning summoned by the Emperor.

The Emperor then turned on us, sending his blue and purple lightning at many of the townspeople. It was so powerful that even Invinciman said "Ow!", though he seemed much less injured than the others.

At one point some lightning came my way, and I lifted my shield just in time to deflect it. Fortunately it wasn't very conductive to the lightning, unlike Dr. Garlic's spear.

I think it must have been made of copper, because when he was struck by lightning, it was clenched tightly in his fist, and really knocked him out good. He was unconscious for a good amount of time.

Suddenly I saw my opportunity and took it. I went into a Spinjitzu tornado and threw myself at the Emperor. It turned out he was a stromling, and as such, allergic to both imagination and Spinjitzu.

Let's just say that imagination Spinjitzu was his Achilles' heel. I ground that guy into paste!

When he dropped his scepter, all his remaining minions died and the blackness left the Dark Lands. Invinciman carried Dr. Garlic out on one shoulder, and the Destiny Machine on the other.

We returned to Convergence Point safely, and we all wished Dr. Garlic safe travels as he left the next day. A certain Source Bradford sent me an invitation to a "Friendly Party," and the invitation said he's a friend of Dr. Gene. Zhonn apparently knows him, so we'll probably go there together.